These are things God has done. These are Redemption Stories.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Redemption Story #14 - One More Home

I always love the chance to share my story. For me it’s the reason I live now, it’s the reason why I consider my life useful. It’s not by anything that I can do in my life, but only what God can do through me and my testimony

I was raised with the knowledge of a God. I was raised Roman Catholic, always taught to love God and obey him with all my heart. But it was only that to me, a 'teaching', nothing more. With no solid foundation to build on with my faith, I fell away.
Around grade 7 when I left private school, I began to feel tempted by the secular world. I was starting to see that there was a world without rules and what I thought was also without pain. Soon after I made some friends that showed me this new “world,” I found myself becoming something that I never even saw and that was: a fake. I put up masks to make myself appear as if I had it all together, although inside I was falling apart. My life was pretty much about surviving up to grade 9, then it became a death race.

Things took a turn for the worse when I started to learn the drums. To me drumming was an escape. I felt that music in general would accept me for who I was and for the most part, I was right. With music being my new “foundation” in life, I took my talents that I had playing drums and pushed them ahead of my masks the best that I could. I thought I figured out how to survive now, when in reality I was only hiding my masks with more masks.

All hell broke lose (literally) in grade 10 when my masks caught up with the music in my life. I began to listen to music that was classified as “gore death metal.” I was an angry poor lost child who had no means of escape from the prison cell that he had put himself into. The music served as a way to get my anger out. But that only brought more pain into my life.

The lyrics that so freely sang about death, torture, self mutilation, murder and suicide soon started to project images on my mind. I found myself fantasying about carrying out these songs in real life. It destroyed me, but because of my masks, I still appeared to have it all together. These images that I carried around with me ruled my life. I found myself only thinking about hurting the people I cared about the most. Not a lot of people in this world knows what it feels like to hang out with your best friends, only wanting to see them hurt.

This was my life and for the most part, I accepted it. But truly I was crying out for something more. I thought no one knew how I felt, I was scared to tell anyone about my problems, but thankfully, God knew about them. It was grade 11 now, and God finally decided to rock my world.

My 1st real true friend that I met in grade 11 showed me a better way. We met as two lost boys who had no real faith in God, until one day my friend became a Christian. The change in him was so radical and seeing how he changed, I got hungry for what he had.

In my 2nd year of grade 11, I became a Christian. I gave my life to Christ at such a crucial time in my life because if I would have gone on one more day without God, I'm sure I would have succeeded with my plans to carry out the images in my head. Instantly my life changed. I felt a new energy and even though I was far from perfect, I knew I had found purpose.

Since then, God has lead me to City Life Church where I got the chance to do The Masters Commission, where I have been able to go deeper with my walk with God than I could have ever imagined. Since then he has blessed me so much and now he has lead me to yet another amazing group of radical young people, that’s right, I’m talking about you Revolution church brothers and sisters!

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